I stumbled across a glossy list of ‘nostalgic’ beauty products the other day. It was full of high-end palettes and expensive perfumes. Cute, but no. If you were a UK millennial teen in the 2000s–2010s, you were skint.

A good weekend was buying a new t-shirt from Primark and maybe an eyeliner pencil- there was still money left over for snacks (there was a Glasgow trend where we called it ‘munch’, let’s get some ‘munch’ for later. Did this make it to other places?)

The real list looked very different. Let me remind you

1- Barry M Crackle Paint for nails

Black magic in a glass pot. You’d slap a neon base coat on, add this stuff, and suddenly… crackle, faux-animal print nails that screamed fashion. I used mine to absolute death. My all-time favourite Barry M is still a purple shade a friend gave me years ago. It’s still hanging on. RIP Barry M. xx

2- Dream Matte Mouse – Maybeline

One pot, one try, never again. The texture was whipped chalk, the colour wildly wrong, and somehow we all thought it was essential. Every girl at school had one rolling around in her bag, always two shades too dark, always making you look like you’d faceplanted in Willy Wonka’s factory.

Nowadays I’m a convert of the powder foundation. Minimal effort and easier to apply on the go.

3- Kohl Eyeliner

Specifically these cheap pencils by Rimmel. (It worked for Kate Moss, right?)

Magazines swore kohl was “soft and creamy.” Lies. Dragging a blunt pencil across one of the most sensitive parts of your body was anything but, to be fair, I never sharpened mine. I thought eyeliner meant scribbling straight onto the waterline like a true emo kid. Smudgy panda eyes were the goal, right? It wasn’t until my 20s that I realised cat-eyes existed. Avril Lavigne never warned us.

Nowadays, well done kohl remains a mystery to me. I’ve switched to liquid eyeliner and pulling my skin tight while applying it to hide my wrinkles…

4- So…? and Charlie sprays.

P.E. was sweaty, showers were optional, and the changing room stank. The fix? A cloud of So…? or Charlie, basically Lynx Africa for girls. Cheap enough to buy with pocket money (unlike Victoria’s Secret), and sprayed on so thick you could smell it down the corridor. Sophisticated? No. Effective? Absolutely.

Fun fact, I actually still have a lot of So…? because I work with kids and they aren’t getting the benefit of my nice perfume. Spritz of that and I’m sorted.

5- Bump its

My sister had a set, and to this day I have no idea how they were meant to work. Backcomb first? Clip it in? All I remember is being able to see the plastic lump through the hair. They were part of the “Snooki effect”, the 2000s obsession with sky-high volume. They still sell them. I still feel zero urge.

Nowadays I’m all about hairbands. Scrape it back. Put in no effort. Match your outfit.

Quick instagram break! Follow me for these vibes:

6- Eye Glitter in roll-on/ gel

Roll-on tubes of glitter gel, smeared across your eyelids like war paint. It was Euphoria before Euphoria only stickier and more likely bought from Claire’s Accessories. It always creased, always stung if it got in your eye, but we wore it anyway. Sparkle was non-negotiable. Extra points if it doubled as a glitter for your cheeks.

I fell into the 2010 trap of a million palettes. Still, powder creases less and I have many options. That said I end up using the same 4 shades…

7- Gradual fake tan

There was a £1 gossip mag, the Poundland cousin of Heat and OK!, that pushed fake tan like gospel. The same issue would then drag Paris Hilton or Christina Aguilera for orange smears under a white dress. Hypocrisy in print.

And yet… I was sold. Streaky legs, stained bedsheets, the lot. Fake tan was the millennial safety blanket. We smelled like old biscuits and loved it. I refuse to give it up even now.

8- Lacoste – touch of pink

The perfume that said, “I’ve graduated from Charlie sprays.” Every girl seemed to get a bottle at Christmas. I did, and I loved the hell out of mine. I’m still convinced it smells good, even if it screams 2000s department store gift set.

9- Britney Spears – Curious

Every millennial girl had this bottle at some point. The little blue glass charm on the neck made it feel special, like treasure on your dressing table. The scent? Maybe just vanilla extract in disguise. But it was Britney’s, and that was all that mattered. With all Britney’s been through, let’s just accept it was perfection in a bottle. No arguments.

10 – Clear Lip Gloss.

The shinier, the better. I remember the IT girls having the Lancôme Juicy Tubes, but us plebs were happy with the Boots Collection range. It’s hard to differentiate between clear gloss. We layered it on until our lips looked like they’d been dipped in glue. The boys at my school amusingly referred to it as ‘laminate lips’- not even mad. Hair stuck in it every time the wind blew, but that didn’t stop us. Sticky, gloopy, impractical and yet somehow the ultimate millennial 00s pout.

Nowadays, ‘clean’ beauty and Korean beauty trends covet the more natural look and I’ve noticed a resurgence of the clear gloss under the guise of ‘lip oil’. I’ve been rocking one by Superdrug’s Revolution range. Viva la low maintenance lips!

The Real Millennial Beauty Drawer

Looking back, it wasn’t luxury palettes or high-end serums that defined our teenage years. It was the cheap brands that dominated: Barry M, Maybelline, So…?, Charlie, and all the knock-off glitter we could grab at Claire’s. They were messy, streaky, sticky, and unforgettable.

I’ve refused to grow up too much. I still fake tan, I still have a lip gloss (sorry, ‘oil’) in my bag, and I’ll always have a soft spot for a £3 Barry M polish. Some things never leave you and I’m fine with that.

Some links in this post are Amazon affiliate links. If you buy through them, I earn a tiny commission. It won’t cost you extra, but it might just fund my next Barry M polish or nostalgic magazine splurge. Thanks for supporting The Second Draft!